KISS KISS BANG BANG
What Captain Jack said: 'Hey, kids. Did you miss me?'
What he could have said 'Oh, hello. I just popped off to save the universe. It looks like you've been doing a poor job!'
CHILDREN OF EARTH DAY ONE
What Ianto said: 'There's a bomb inside your stomach'
What he could have said: 'Ah, it's probably nothing. You're probably just experiencing extreme indigestion.'
CHILDREN OF EARTH DAY THREE
What the 456 said: 'We want ten per cent of the world's children.'
What they could have said: 'We want ten per cent of your world's tissues, because we keep sneezing on the glass.'
CHILDREN OF EARTH: DAY FIVE
What Captain Jack said: 'Oh yes I can. Just watch me.'
What he could have said: 'I'll be off then. I never really liked you guys anyway.'